Tuxedo? Check. Cufflinks? Check. Portable toilet? Check. Wait . . . portable toilet?

I read this blog post by my friend Norman Golightly and wanted to share it with you here.

Norm is proof that all people in Hollywood aren’t douche bags. I’m honored to call him my friend and I am blessed to be a part of his journey. Enjoy!

Normby Norman Golightly

Packing for any trip can be tricky, especially with those pesky baggage fees. Paring down all the things you want to bring to the absolute necessities. I’m about to leave for the Cannes Film Festival, which requires a certain level of vêtements de fantaisie (that’s “fancy clothes” in French, and yes, I looked that up). After that week in the luxurious south of France, I will head directly to the Cura Rotary Home outside of Nairobi, Kenya – an orphanage for fifty children who have lost their parents to HIV/AIDS. I’ll be living there for about a month. It’s my third time doing so.

Not being an orphan, nor Kenyan, you may be wondering about my repeated lodging at a rural orphanage in Africa. I was very lucky to find success early in Hollywood – I started working with Nicolas Cage at the age of twenty-five and was his producing partner by twenty-seven. In the twelve years of our working together, I produced fifteen films and a television series. Living for months at a time in locations like Melbourne, Bangkok, Cape Town, my life moved fast. The phone never stopped ringing and I racked up the frequent flier miles of a pilot.

It was a really good life, but then, it all changed. Our company closed and I found myself without a job for the first time in my life. The phone suddenly stopped ringing and the silence was deafening. The people who had depended on me for so long, now were slow to return my call, if they even did. A few weeks later, a former co-worker whom I liked very much, was killed in a freak car accident. I hate when car accidents are called  “freak” – they’re that by their very nature but when an outrigger canoe flies through your face after it detaches from a trailer tethered to a car coming from the opposite direction on a deserted stretch of Hawaiian highway – well, that’s really freak.

The loss of job and the loss of friend caused me to freeze for a moment. Life suddenly seemed much less certain than it did only weeks prior. What if a canoe flew through my face? What would I leave behind? Who was I if I no longer had the job title I had held for one third of my life? I momentarily slumped into depression. I didn’t leave my house much and the Domino’s delivery guy came with such regularity that he knew the name of my dog and not to dare forget the extra cup of icing with my cinnamon sticks.

Unlike the cinnamon sticks, some of my experiences in Hollywood had left a bad taste in my mouth. And it wasn’t just the others – I wasn’t sure I liked who I had become. The compass of my soul was broken and I decided that I might be best served by using a real compass and getting away. Far away. I had always been involved with local charities (Fulfillment Fund, Food on Foot), but there was something slightly too comfortable about my effort. I might pass out food to the homeless, but I still got to go home to my house and pool. I searched high and low for a place where I could get uncomfortable. I then recalled a conversation with Amy Eldon Turteltaub, wife of Jon, with whom I had worked on The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. Amy was born in Kenya and her father still lived in Nairobi. Remembering that she had mentioned that her father was one of the co-founders of an orphanage in the region, I reached out.

Amy, who now runs the stellar non-profit Creative Visions Foundation, was a bit surprised that I literally wanted to move into the Cura Rotary Home, but she passed me around to the team. There hadn’t been a large volunteer contingent previously, so there was no set program. I liked that. I was given the green light, then advised of hotels where I could stay in Nairobi for my daily commute to the orphanage. I immediately bucked at this – firstly, I felt that if I was paying for a hotel and not staying at the home itself, I would really just be subsidizing my feeling good about myself, and it would be better spent on the children. And it didn’t fit with my desire to be, uncomfortable. After some haggling, I was permitted to stay at the orphanage itself – I was eventually lodged in a storeroom in the medical clinic. The rusty I.V. stand made for a fine coat rack.

I was asked to create some sort of program around my trip. I liked photography and thought it might be a good hobby to share with the kids. I reached out on Facebook and created a group called Kenya Spare A Camera, asking people to donate their used digital cameras. I never expected the terrible pun to stick, but three years later, Kenya Spare A Camera (the “group” on Facebook and the site) continues to grow each year.

I was admittedly nervous on my first trip. Would the kids like me? What was I even really going to do there? Cameras? You idiot! They probably need food, not cameras. My fears were extinguished upon my arrival at the orphanage.

You know that feeling you get when you step out of an air-conditioned car on a really hot day? A wall of heat enveloping you? I got that feeling getting out of the car at Cura – not being enveloped by heat, but rather by love. A crushing mass of hugs and smiles.

I would spend a month there during that first trip and my activities ranged from helping further the existing farm by raising money to purchase a dairy cow and chickens, tutoring the children, and sometimes, just being a friend to the kids. I slept on the floor. I ate food that I could neither pronounce nor digest. I battled an outhouse that would be labeled cruel and unusual punishment in a more civilized place. And, it was the happiest time of my life. With rare exception I would have days filled with purpose and joy – it’s quite incredible how inextricably those things are linked. The fulfillment I found during this time has focused my purpose in entertainment. I now center my efforts to create content that matters. Socially relevant. Historically significant. Thought-provoking.

As there are forty million orphans in Africa, these kids are likely not being adopted. So it’s more of a group home than our customary view of an orphanage. That means that Henry, who was four when I first visited, will still be there when I return in ten years. This situation creates a palpable bond between the children themselves, and between the children and visitors who return. At the end of my first stay, the question was “will you come back?” That has now changed to, “when will you be back?” I always thought I would have had children of my own by now, and I guess I do. Fifty of them. In Africa.

Norman Golightly

About Norman Golightly

Norman Golightly, a graduate of the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania, held positions with Creative Artists Agency and Ben Stiller prior to partnering with Nicolas Cage. In his twelve year run as President of Cage’s Saturn Films, Golightly produced over a dozen feature film and television projects. He is completing work on his first nonfiction book, entitled “When I Do Good” – an account of his personal journey traversing the worlds of opulent Hollywood and poverty-stricken Africa, revealing his own life lessons supported by his research into the biology and psychology of altruism. Golightly is currently producing “The Flickering Light” for Motion Picture Capital and “Sense8” for Georgeville Television and Netflix. Follow Norman on Twitter, @NormanGolightly

When Bad Signs Happen To Good Communities

There I was waiting for the light to turn green when I noticed something different on the City of DuPont’s community sign. I couldn’t help but think, “It’s going to be an eventful Mother’s Day in DuPont, Washington.”  Don’t you worry, I have been told there won’t be any Mother’s Day “Hangings” this year.

However, if you’re looking for Mother’s Day Hanging Baskets, those are certainly available. (Somewhere someone is giggling to themselves for being creative. I applaud you. Now give back the letters!) ;-)

Happy Mother’s Day!

MothersDayHanging3

Have YOU Experienced The “Sit Of Shame” Lately?

I was listening to  P!nk’s “Walk of shame” song this morning on my way to work when I noticed traffic starting to slow down along I-5 North. Ahead of me on the right shoulder I could see the glaring blue and red lights of a police cruiser who had pulled over a man in a lime green Ford Fusion.

As we slowly made our way past his vehicle, I couldn’t help but notice that the driver had his head lowered and was avoiding any and all eye contact with passersby. In true Heather fashion, I honked my horn and waved to the driver. The cop didn’t even look up from writing his ticket, however, the driver kept his head down and stuck his hand out the window while giving me the finger.

So, this Urban Dictionary entry is for you Lime Green Ford Fusion man.

1. Sit of shame

That moment when you’re sitting in your car after being pulled over by a cop. Knowing that every person driving by is looking at you.
Yesterday I was pulled over and had to endure the sit of shame as people slowly passed by looking at me.

SitOfShame

 

 

A Big Day For A Small Wiener!

BeforeAfterI was playing around on Facebook this morning and saw that my friend Sharon (I always say her name like Ozzy yells to his wife Sharon) had liked, posted or shared a page about someone named Obie and his weight loss. Of course I had to click on the page and quickly realized that Obie is a 5 year old standard Dachshund whose aging owners with failing health simply loved him with food.  A volunteer picked him up in Washington State and drove him to his new owner/angel Nora, in Oregon.

Nora had no idea what to expect when Obie arrived Saturday, August 18th, and to her astonishment he was an extremely sweet and loving Dachshund who weighed 77 pounds.

Obie has been on a special diet to lose the weight and get back to being a happy dog. After many hours of swim therapy, treadmill and hikes outside he has lost 40 pounds in the past 8 months. (Human or Animal, that is inspiring!)

Today is a big day for Obie as he finally gets to have the excess skin removed since losing the 40lbs. He weighs in at 37lbs and 4oz today with an ideal weight of around 28 to 30 pounds. Dr. Kramer will be performing the surgery at Oregon Expert Vets. He will stay in the hospital tonight so he can receive IV fluids and pain medication.

Way to go Obie! We will be watching for updates and sending lot’s of love and positive thoughts to this “little” guy.

For more information about Obie and to follow his inspiring story, please visit the Obie Dog Website at http://www.obiedog.com  or on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/BiggestLoserDoxieEdition?hc_location=timeline

My Sweater Looked Like A Bowel Movement With Arms

Here’s an important piece of advice: The first time you meet an adorable actress who is playing you in a movie, try to dress appropriately.

The first time I met Hilary Duff was just before her concert at the Dodge Theater in Phoenix, Arizona. It was a typical sweltering night in Phoenix and there were  “tweens” screaming and jumping around everywhere. We were escorted back to the VIP area and were given a sticker along with some kind of wrist band.

My Mom and I were sitting next to each other watching in silence as people would come and go. I will admit that I was excited to be there. Hell, I was excited to be anywhere. I had just been released from one of my many hospital stays, with my wound-vac suctioning away as my only reminder.

About ten minutes later the security guard came in and asked us to follow him. To say that I sweat when I’m nervous is a total understatement. I had a line of sweat from my forehead to my armpits and my feet were sliding around in my shoes.

We walked in the door and Hilary was standing with her Mom and her manager. I could see her smile quickly turn to a look of horror across her face. She glanced up and down and slowly shook her head from side to side. Now if you know me or if you have read parts of this blog you will know that while I may try to dress well, it’s ALWAYS been a challenge for me.

Still in shock, she scanned my hair that was now pulled back and partially wet from the sweat that had pooled along my forehead. I had on a large brown, yellow and green Mohair-Wool sweater that could have easily doubled as a bowel movement with arms. The 40% polyester and 60% Acrylic was little or no help in aiding the uncontrollable sweating. I had on black leggings and black moon boots, that I still to this day have no idea where they came from or why I chose to wear them. I was dressed for a blizzard on a 98 degree evening.

Under my ball of wool, my arm hair had been moistened just enough to enhance my huge paws that I had continuously wiped on my pants to keep dry. I was literally a hot mess. Hilary was sweet and treated me very well. I quickly explained that I admired her fashion style and that I was a total nightmare when it comes to clothes, hair and makeup. We talked about the movie and how I was a total jackass as a teenager. She was then asked by some guy to go to the stage where hundreds of screaming kids waited for her.

There were a few pictures taken (what I would give to have one of those pictures for proof of how hideous I looked) and then we were on our way.

Here is a picture of how I looked…if you find a real picture of me at that concert, please send it and I will post here.

Wool6

Some Things Aren’t Always What They Seem To Be… Get The Facts Before You Judge.

Often times people will say something that isn’t always accurate or true, yet they judge the person before getting all of the facts. I learned very quickly that while something may sound hilarious in my head, chances are pretty good that it won’t translate well at all. (Unless you have a sick twisted sense of humor.)
So take some time and get the facts before coming to a conclusion about someone or something.
The photos below are shared by Tanner Ringerud BuzzFeed Staff
 (This is not a dog politely riding the train to work.)

1. (This is not a dog politely riding the train to work.)

(This is not a tiny man riding on a woman's back.)

2. (This is not a tiny man riding on a woman’s back.)

(This is not a woman grabbing at her own crotch.)

3. (This is not a woman grabbing at her own crotch.)

(This is not a bottomless transgendered woman hanging out with friends.)

4. (This is not a bottomless transgendered woman hanging out with friends.)

(This is not a woman with a foot for a hand.)

5. (This is not a woman with a foot for a hand.)

(This man does not have an erection, and his penis (probably) doesn't look like a small arm.)

6. (Uhem… I’m sure it doesn’t look like a small arm.)

(This girl doesn't have insanely hairy arms.)

7. (This girl doesn’t have insanely hairy arms.)

(The bridesmaids are not all little people.)

8. (The bridesmaids are not all little people.)

(This boy's left hand is not actually massive.)

9. (This boy’s left hand is not actually massive.)

(This is not a young woman carrying a young man.)

10. (This is not a young woman carrying a young man.)

(This is not a tiny baby with fully grown legs.)

11. (This is not a tiny baby with fully grown legs.)

(The hockey player in blue did not punch the head off the hockey player in red.)

12. (The hockey player in blue did not punch the head off the hockey player in red.)

(The woman in lace actually has a head.)

13. (The woman in lace actually has a head.)

(This is not a boy with the face of a man.)

14. (This is not a boy with the face of a man.)

(That's not a boob.)

15. (That’s not a boob.)

(This is not a man with a really tiny head.)

16. (This is not a man with a really tiny head.)

(This woman actually does have a neck.)

17. (This woman actually does have a neck.)

(This is not a giant boy being kissed on the cheek.)

18. (This is not a giant boy being kissed on the cheek.)

(This news anchor is not threatening his guest with an AK-47.)

19. (This news anchor is not threatening his guest with an AK-47.)

25 Photos You Need To Really Look At To Understand

20. (She doesn’t actually speed up when you look away from her, or slow down when you look at her.)

(This woman is not levitating on a floating platform.)

21. (This woman is not levitating on a floating platform.)

(This man doesn't actually have smooth, girlish legs.)

22. (This man doesn’t actually have smooth, girlish legs.)

(This isn't a giant drop-kicking a normal sized man.)

23. (This isn’t a giant drop-kicking a normal sized man.)

(Despite what Facebook thinks, those are not the woman's breasts.)

24. (Despite what Facebook thinks, those are not the woman’s breasts.)

(This is not a pair of well-dressed conjoined twins.)

25. (This is not a pair of well-dressed conjoined twins.)

Life Is An Echo… What Does Yours Say?

Echo3Carrie Fisher once said, “If my life wasn’t funny it would just be true, and that is unacceptable.” I admit that while I may find it humorous and often times easy to make fun of myself whether it be my weight, or the stupid mistakes I have made over the years, I never really considered how it might make other people feel.

While researching this topic I found an interesting article titled, “Using Humor to Help Bolster Your Life”. The article discusses if you find humor in something, can you survive it? The answer is yes, because humor is a perception and perception is almost everything in stress. How you perceive a situation plays a large part in determining whether or not you will be stressed and – this is a very big and – determines the solutions you can see. Seeing things from a more light-hearted point of view flexes your perceptual muscles to facilitate seeing additional options. In this respect, humorous thinking is very similar to creative thinking. Seeing the humor in a challenging situation usually allows you to solve it more creatively. For more from the article and some examples of how humor/laughter can be one of the most coping strategies, click here.

Sometimes we forget how important our words and thoughts really are. I am living proof that positive thinking does in fact work. Sure, I have weight to lose and more times than not I find humor in it, but that doesn’t mean I am not grateful and don’t appreciate all of the blessings that are in my life. Appreciating humor fosters optimism by softening negative thoughts with positive ones. Plus, humor’s positive emotions lead to greater confidence therefore, more creative thinking and problem solving.

So at the end of the day I am building perceptual muscles, gaining confidence and solving problems. Thank goodness this humor stuff is fat free and low in calories, I just may need more! ;-)

Echo4